Last night we danced our new rumba routine at an International Festival event at Mercer University. It was a really nice event: good turnout, nice weather, really sweet organizer (Hi Laurel!). So if I didn’t dance well (spoiler: I didn’t), I can’t seriously blame anyone but myself. Still, on the way home I was consoling/amusing myself by thinking up excuses and pretty soon I decided that what the world needs is a master list of ballroom dancing excuses. This list will attempt to address social, competitive, and exhibition dancing. Feel free to add your own!
- The floor was slippery
- I couldn’t hear the music
- We weren’t warmed up
- Lost earring/eyelash/fingernail/concentration
- It was too early in the morning
- A judge was in our way
- My shoes are too big
- Dehydrated
- I forgot the steps
- My partner forgot the steps
- I never knew any steps in that dance to begin with, a.k.a. “Who entered us in a Polka heat???”
- The floor was sticky
- Not enough hairspray
- Not enough coffee
- Not enough cocktails
- Too many cocktails (moderation is key)
- Handsy partner
- We got an unlucky number
- Other couples were sandbagging
- Still working the kinks out of the new routine
- Wedgie
- Hypoglycemia
- The floor was too small
- I’m not cool enough for West Coast swing
- Or Argentine tango
- The tempo was off
- The photographer blinded me with his flash
- My shoes are too tight
- We missed breakfast
- I only know steps from [insert syllabus here]
- I hate that song
Debating whether I should put asterisks next to the ones that have actually happened to us!